What A Month & A New Red Sideboard

What better on my little dining room table on this Memorial Day than gingham oilcloth? Which has been around, what, forever it seems? I think of it as classic Americana.

This May has certainly been a rather wild ride for me. I don’t know if I can take a more exciting month. So I hope for June to be a bit more ordinary so I can catch my breath.

I finally found the sideboard I’ve been searching for for over a year to put in my tiny 10 x 10 dining room that looks out over the gardens.

I found it Saturday at what I refer to as the antique mall out behind The Blue Store. If you don’t live around these parts, you’ve never heard of The Blue Store.

It’s actually a service station/restaurant/convenience store outside of town. We call it The Blue Store, because well, it’s blue. If it has another name, I’ve never heard it.

It’s one heavy piece of furniture. It was marked $195. I ended up getting it for $165. I have no idea as to its origins.

My dilemma has been that this small room has glass doors on two entire walls. One wall has the black hutch on it and also the doorway into my kitchen. The wall you see this on is a fairly open entry to the living room. I wanted something here to hide the monstrous electrical cords on the other side of it. Nothing I found up till now quite did the trick for me.

Herein lies the problem…

And this is where I need your help. Obviously, since it’s on an open wall, the back of it shows. And there’s a chair not far behind it that my husband must have glued to that spot.

What do you think I should do here? I’ve pondered covering it with toile fabric. Any ideas out there?

I brought it home and immediately got out the orange oil that brings a nice sheen to the wood.

Then this morning I learned that the outdoor pillows I’ve been salivating over at PB finally went on sale. And today is free shipping! I ordered two.

I would like these to go in my two club chairs out under the pavilion. I just love the blue. Looks like the sky. Twenty inches of luscious pillow to rest my weary back against whilst I sit and think about all that’s happened in so short a time. Wonderful things and not so wonderful things. But life, just the same.

Such is life.

Technorati Tags: Small dining room decorating,sideboards,Pottery Barn outdoor pillows

A Gift In The Mail

Just look what I got in the mail yesterday. A gift from Maryjane of The Beehive Cottage. It’s a gorgeous journal she made using some of my blog photos. (I just love Maryjane’s blog!)

Here’s what it looks like just inside the cover. Oh, this girl knows how much I like quilts!

It’s a small world. I knew Claudia of Mockingbird Hill Cottage was meeting Maryjane for lunch. So I called to ask Claudia to please thank Maryjane for me in person. And Claudia played my message back to Maryjane after they ate. Wasn’t that nice?

(This is the inside of the back cover.)

Thanks so much, Maryjane! I have it sitting right next to me on my desk. I like to just sit and gaze at it.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! Be safe this weekend!

Technorati Tags: Gifts in the mail,blogging friends

The Many Personalities Of My Couch

Above is my couch and coffee table in August 2009. I went through my photos this morning out of curiosity. It seems that my couch has multiple personalities.

Here is my couch in November 2009. Notice that the quilts and pillows are different. And the coffee table has been changed to a bench that I bought about that time at the antique mall.

(No, one of the personalities is not Sybil. That would be Nola with her newly acquired menopausal symptoms. That I myself have been dealing with for five years. Nice, Nola. Here I thought you understood what I was going through. And you thought your symptoms were merely of a milder nature and duration. Dear Reader, if you think that is too much information, just wait until you hit 50. Bless your poor little naive heart.)

Here is my couch on Christmas Eve of 2009. All dressed up with yet another quilt.

And then presto change-o, the very next month it looks different. With the addition of more pillows. (Around then I bought the red and beige shams at Penneys. And it is obvious I really like them. Because they seem to have “staying” power in these photos.)

I’m showing you all this, because you don’t have to own slipcovers to make your couch look different when you get bored with it. You can simply “dress it up with quilts.”

March of 2010: I’ve taken the quilt off the seat cushions. And changed the quilt on the wall behind it.

Moving right along… I’ve changed items on the bench. Tucked a black bench underneath. And brought some other pillows back in. Charlie added himself.

And now we’re up to today. May 20, 2010. My mood has changed yet again.

I’ve added the beige quilt to the seat cushions. And brought in yet another red and muslin quilt for the back cushions.

I get bored with the same couch. But of course I’m not going to go out and buy a new one. I can’t afford to do that. So I have many “costumes” to keep me happy. Endless costumes, in fact. The only limit is my imagination and the number of quilts I own.

I do the same thing with this chair I bought at the consignment shop. Add a quilt and some different pillows and you have a whole new look.

It’s highly likely that in a few days I will be back here with things rearranged on the tables. Or there will be some other changes to the scene. Because when I get in the mood for change, it is usually contagious.

And the new Pottery Barn catalog just arrived via mail. Browsing this seems to always make me itch to change something. Does that happen to you?

Technorati Tags: Changing the look of furniture with quilts,decorating,quilts on walls

Welcome Wagon Friday 5/21/10

For some reason, this painting is my favorite. I have had it for 25 years. But it is just as meaningful to me as it was when I first received it. As someone very special gave it to me.

I wanted you to see where I hung the Apothecary sign I picked up at Hobby Lobby on clearance for under $7.

Now for our weekly Welcome Wagon Friday.

Creamy White is written by Li, who lives in Alberta Canada. She is a stay-at-home mom. Li refinishes furniture, sews pillows, and does whatever her imagination leads her to do. She loves to live in a humble way, so she buys used things and gives them new life.

Juneau Alaska Photo is Gwyn’s blog. She is a wife, mother, and photographer who is not willing to let her physical disability keep her from sharing Juneau with the world. You will be absolutely astounded by her gorgeous photos of a most beautiful place.

Cozy Blanket is Debby’s blog. Debby is a wife, mother and grandmother. She has a son with special needs. She is also a cancer survivor. I must tell you this special story I found on her blog.

The morning after her second surgery, she woke up crying. She told her husband she felt that something was wrong. He said, “There is. The doctor called last night after you fell asleep and said that you have cancer.” The first thing she said was: “But I want to have grandkids.”

Debby was selling real estate at the time. She didn’t want to talk to adults about having cancer. So she went to work at a daycare center. She would rock the babies and forget her troubles.

While working at the daycare center, she met a little boy that needed a home. And so after a time they brought him to live with their family.

Debby’s wish was always to be a clown; to be surrounded by laughter. So she went to Clown Town and learned how to be a clown. She also went back to college and earned a degree. She had loved children all her life, and she says being with them was the best therapy ever.

It has been 20 years since her bout with cancer. She says she is thankful for all 20 of them.

When you can, sit down with a cup of coffee or tea and please visit these wonderful women’s blogs. Everyone has a story in life, and each and every one is unique.

Technorati Tags: Friday Featured Blogs,Welcome Wagon Friday

Your Thoughts On Commercializing Blogs

I know most of you have noticed that some blogs have become pretty commercialized lately. I just don’t know quite what to think of this. So I want to ask you your unvarnished opinion:

1. What do you think about blogs having sponsors?

Most of us by now have gotten those emails soliciting “real estate” on our blogs. And if you haven’t yet, you soon will. It sort of reminds me of the Monopoly game I played as a kid. I’m kind of afraid to “sell” some of my real estate. Since I don’t outright own the house I’m sitting in, I feel like my blog is the only little space in the world I actually do have full say in. And it’s not like I have Park Avenue up for grabs anyway. What are your thoughts?

2. What is your take about ads on blogs?

I got one email saying they’d put $150 dollars in a Paypal account for me for a text link on my blog. Out of curiosity, I asked who they were representing. And it was a cash till payday loan. Well, that bordered on downright sleazy to me.

How are they suddenly getting all of our email addresses? Yes, I know most of us have our email address on our blogs somewhere. But I just don’t think anyone is fool enough to pay someone to just sit and troll all the blogs for email addresses. There’s far too many. Is this something, for instance, that Blogger has initiated or fallen victim to?

3. Followers: Now I go back and forth on this one. Do you actually utilize Followers other than trying to show your support for another blog?

As I’m sort of the token welcome wagon lady, I feel I should support new bloggers any way I can. But is this actually giving new bloggers the wrong message? Because many of these new bloggers email me and ask me what I think. And I don’t know quite what to tell them about the aforementioned issues. So I hope your answers will clear the muddied waters for them a bit.

Between you and me and the fence post, we all know we can’t help but look at that Followers gadget on our page as we scroll down. If it goes up, we feel like we’re going in the right direction. If it goes down, we feel like we’re not giving readers what they want.

I’ve been considering taking my Followers gadget off altogether. What do you think about that? How important is it to you to have this gadget on blogs? Does seeing how many Followers a blog has make you feel more or less inclined to read it?

Now in terms of ads and such, there are some blogs I’ve visited lately where I feel like I’ve jumped on the Beverly Hillbilly’s jalopy. And suddenly find myself sitting alongside the Clampetts as we enter the big city with flashing lights.

But then again, we all know I’ve been skating on the precarious edges of the sanity circle these days anyway. I’ve written about some personal issues, that, had I had clear judgment unclouded by so much emotion, I likely would have steered clear of.

So please, let’s just get it all out in the open. And if you prefer, email me with your answers. Because I am starting to feel like this is all somehow getting out of hand. Sometimes I wonder if the “bigger” blogs just shouldn’t go under a separate title of “commercialized blogs.” Because they’ve left the stratosphere we all know and are on a different level.

Why is it you think you’ve moved to this quaint little Mayberry town, (or Blog Town) and then it all changes right before your eyes? Makes me kind of sad really. I guess that’s just called the winds of change.

Technorati Tags: Commercializing blogs,ads on blogs,survey of bloggers

It’s A Jungle Out There

I think I know now why bears hibernate. It’s to get the strength to face the world for when it is time to re-enter the jungle.

It’s been just over a week since Bonnie went missing. I want to think that she somehow miraculously escaped the yard and is off on an adventure. Some of you suggested I do that. That’s she’s readily finding food and meeting new friends and seeing the country.

Each time I’m on the computer I feel compelled to click the “Feed the Animals” icon.

The other night I was outside with the dogs. I saw a face peer out from behind my red mirror on the fence. At first I thought: what an odd lizard. Then it scurried out and across the fence. And I realized it was a mouse/rat. And then there was a second and a third.

It truly is a jungle out there. Even in a small suburban neighborhood that’s so heavily populated. Where they mow down trees for construction, and then turn around and plant new ones. Where do they expect the wild things to go in the interim?

This may mean I have to take down my birdfeeders. Sadly enough. To keep the vermin from being attracted to my yard. Anyone have any advice on this?

Poor Clyde doesn’t feel like going outside and hunting right now. At times I will find a decapitated rat in my garden. Yes, I know that sounds horrific. But I don’t think Clyde is a serial killer with deviant ways. I think he’s just a cat.

Yesterday I had an appointment at my doctor’s office for the recurring trigeminal neuralgia. I stood in my closet looking at my tops after my shower, and thought: I have to add to this dwindling medley of shirts. So before my appointment I went by the mall. I will occasionally shop at Dillards or Penneys, which means I don’t have to enter the dreaded mall atmosphere.

And so I gathered my “get ready for the many cell phone tones that assail you everywhere you go” mentality, and started shopping. I managed to find four tops that will hold me over for awhile.

As I walked by the cosmetics counters, I was greeted by all the new “anti-aging” products for our skin. I hate skin cream. I live in such a humid climate it would be dripping down my face. So I suppose I will show my wrinkles to the world in all their glory. And just look my age.

Anti-aging. Just the word makes me laugh. None of us can turn back the clock. Oh yes, we can get Botox treatments and hinder the outward appearance a bit. But it isn’t going to turn back time.

And really, would you want it to? Would you like to go through, say, adolescence again? That awkward stage when acne occurs and your body is developing before your brain catches up?

And then there are the women who are shopping for clothing that would look more appropriate on someone much younger. Know what I mean? I’m sorry, but seeing a woman with pants that are barely hanging onto her hips without slipping to the point of no return just don’t look attractive to me. Or at any age for that matter.

I kept running into the same woman in Dillards with dyed blond hair and clothing that was suited for someone much younger. She had a good figure, so she wore it well in that regard. But why would she want to? Why do we cling to another era by the tips of our fingernails, grasping at another time that has already slipped by?

Part of a song kept creeping into my mind for some strange reason. It followed me through shopping, the clinic and the pharmacy. As I went about town taking care of mundane tasks, the lyrics rode along in my head with me.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Simon & Garfunkel lyrics

Technorati Tags: Aging,everyday tasks,Simon & Garfunkel lyrics,Just Reflecting On Life

Finding The New Normal

A sudden calm has embraced me. I think it comes from deep within, crying your eyes out, sharing with friends (like you), reflecting a bit. And letting some time pass. (For all who emailed me with your own stories and kind sentiments, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am touched beyond measure.)

Nola and I talked on the phone most of the morning. We shed tears that women our age just sometimes need to spill out. We reminisced about meeting through Blog Land a few years ago. A serendipitous phone call from her aunt telling her she should go visit me. I thank you truly, Aunt Margie.

And then I went out to collect the mail. All cried out, ravenous with hunger all of a sudden, and ready to plow forward. Romantic Homes magazine was in my mailbox. And this little blog was featured in it. Something told me that was a sign I should follow, curves in the road and all.

I’m in good company.

Tina is in there too. And she doesn’t live all that far from me, though I’ve never met her.

I celebrated by gathering the dogs into the Pathfinder and driving down the road to Chick Filet. I really needed a good shot of their dependable sweet tea.

I found that I wasn’t rushing through traffic. I stayed in the same slow lane all the way there. And I didn’t curse any car that cut in front of me. Kind of a new normal for me.

I look into the same mirror in the same room today (wincing about the paint job I haven’t gotten around to). And see somebody slightly different than I did just yesterday.

Bonnie is still gone. The printed out phone bill still sits on my desk, destined for the trash can next time I head to the kitchen. And there was a new development in my life, almost overwhelming in nature. Coming out of the blue so close to everything else.

I never met my father, as most of you know, or anyone in his family. Just recently learned the names of my grandparents, long dead, through the kind efforts of Jodi.

One of his relatives in Arkansas emailed me a couple of days ago. Now I’ve got a long list of family I never knew existed. I’ve learned that an aunt fostered my sisters before they were adopted out. Their first and last names rhyme with mine. It hit me: Did my mother give them those names because she had to give me up? Was it some sort of token of love that she hadn’t forgotten me? You can read about that here.

And it seems I may have relatives right here in my own hometown. Now isn't that something?

The little yellow chair garden is growing like nobody’s business.

The gift basket has gone home with the neighbors (minus some chocolates I had already eaten.) And there’s two plates at the kitchen table.

Normal is a relative term. Thank goodness for that. I mourn my dear kitty Bonnie. And I don’t know when I’ll stop crying for her. I hope by some miracle she comes back to me. But instead of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” running through my head, there is now a replacement.

I think for now I’ll just give Mister In-Between a real wide berth.

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mister In-Between…”

I think for now I’ll just give Mister In-Between a real wide berth.

Technorati Tags: Romantic Homes Magazine,missing pets,loss,family

House Of Cards

I picked this mirror up at a yard sale for $3 a few weeks ago. I think I'll paint it white.

I look in the mirror and ask myself: Who am I?

…A mother, pet mom, wife, blogger, gardener, friend, neighbor…

I drive through the quiet streets with the awning of tall pine trees looming overhead, looking for Bonnie. I can’t help but think of the missing 13 year old girls. The ones I wrote about, searched for, in another place and time. What it must have been like for their parents. Still like…though those girls have been missing for decades. You can read about it here.

Is this what their parents did for days and weeks and months? Drive around, peering into every face they encountered. And then as the years passed, and then the decades, I know they must still have held out vestiges of hope.

I noticed yesterday that just down the street they have felled the remaining pine trees next to the newly constructed Marriott for some new construction to begin. I wondered where those wild animals that lived there ran to as the big machines came in, roaring with purpose? Did one of those wild creatures come into my yard and take my Bonnie away?

I walk in the bedroom and the bed is made. And I ask myself: When did I do that? I must be on auto pilot.

I go into the kitchen and eye that gift basket. It has lots of goodies in it. Chocolate and cheeses and sausages. I spy Turtles chocolates and realize I haven’t had one in many years. I wonder how much of that gift basket will be there by the end of the weekend. And how many pounds it will translate into to seek comfort there.

I have never been a halfway decent liar. I think you can look at my face and everything you want to know is automatically revealed. I could not play poker if my life depended on it.

I think of all the blogs I’ve visited over the years, and so many say in their About Me profile: …I’m married to my very best friend… You must be lucky women. You must have done something right. Or have good karma. Or know something I don’t. Because if something happened… You would need another best friend to comfort you.

You would understand that your house of cards could come tumbling down at any minute. Still, you hope. Isn’t that what we women do? Tend the house and gardens and children and pets and hope?

Abi keeps whining. She is the Yorkie that must have been a sheep dog in a former life. It is her self-imposed “job” to make sure everyone is in at night. If Bonnie or Clyde was outside and it was dark and time for bed, she would be relentless about barking and refusing to come in herself. To make us understand that her job was not over until everyone was safely inside.

Clyde has lost his other half. He is pitiful and keeps crying and following me around. He won’t go sleep on the guest room bed, which had become “their” room. It’s as though it’s tainted. He perches himself in a basket of magazines or sits behind my computer monitor. The last few days he has plopped himself on my printer. It’s the third printer he’s ruined by sitting his big self on it. Now all the paper jams. I don’t have the heart to shoo him off. Printers don’t seem so important at the moment. To hell with it.

I think some people are sort of addicted to risk taking. I know I did that in my younger years. The adrenalin would shoot through my veins and I would feel so alive. But as I got older, that didn’t seem so attractive any more. I just wanted a nice peaceful little life with a garden to tend and daily habits that tethered me to earth and normalcy.

I’m sure some of you are wondering how I could put this out there. Onto the worldwide web. But I’m not good at showing pretty little pictures on the wall when they are of no consequence to what’s going on in my life at the moment. Just like I’m not a poker player. If I used this space for that, my life would be a book of fiction. And hey, there are great writers out there if you want to read fiction. I could name many on my bookshelves.

You visualize yourself in another life. Another cozy little house somewhere far away. With your familiar things on the wall and your quilts folded just so on your bed. Your favorite candles wafting their sweet scent throughout the room. The unknown is scary. But so is knowing you can’t change anything.

I don’t blame you if you don’t want to read my rambling posts right now. Don’t feel you must because we are blog friends. I will find a new normal. I will tether myself to that orbit and hang on for dear life. And then I will show pretty pictures and talk about mundane things I usually put here to share with you.

For now, I will dust off the counters and put away food and straighten things that look off-kilter. Keep to my pattern and go out for the mail and water my plants and feed the pets.

Maybe that is how you manage to find normal again. To just plod forward. Because no one ever promised me a rose garden.

Every time I am outside and walk to the front, I see this loveseat. Minus Bonnie. I see the clumps of white fur she shed there, or licked off. And it kicks me right in the gut again that I may never see her again or know what happened to her. I tell myself to clean it off.

But I can’t bring myself to erase the small traces of her that I have left.

Technorati Tags: Just Reflecting On Life,pets,missing pets,missing children